Your path to a better relationship.
I use research-proven modalities to transform relationships, helping couples rediscover love, trust, and connection. In order to support thousands more couples than I can meet with in person, I’ve developed a video-based course using the same approach as my private practice. I invite you to try it risk-free for 30 days, and experience how it improves your loving and your life.Take Me to the Course
I took the course after breaking off a long-term relationship to try to understand what went wrong. Figs lays things out really clearly. I definitely recognized my behavior and my ex's as relentl...Read More
I took the course after breaking off a long-term relationship to try to understand what went wrong. Figs lays things out really clearly. I definitely recognized my behavior and my ex's as relentless and reluctant lovers. And even though I had to guess what was going on from the ex's perspective, working through the course with Figs' relationship as an example gave me a MUCH better understanding of how we got so disconnected. I feel like I know myself (and strangely, my ex) better now and can move on with some clarity. I was going to give 4 stars just because it is tricky to do the course as a single person, but I think this kind of work is just hard, period.Read Less
Figs has created an easy way to understand the conflicts that you're having and begin to do something effective to change conflicts into collaborations. Yes, it takes some understanding of what you...Read More
Figs has created an easy way to understand the conflicts that you're having and begin to do something effective to change conflicts into collaborations. Yes, it takes some understanding of what you and your partner are doing that makes the pain and frustration, but Figs has made that clear step-by-step. He also gives you some tools to relieve the pain and join your partner in a deeper intimacy.Read Less
I'm a middle-aged woman and I learned brand new things about myself and also to stop avoiding our conflicts or thinking that it means we're not meant to be together. My husband took the course with...Read More
I'm a middle-aged woman and I learned brand new things about myself and also to stop avoiding our conflicts or thinking that it means we're not meant to be together. My husband took the course with me and we were both surprised by the things we learned about each other (in a great way), especially when we mapped our waltz of pain! Thank you Figs!Read Less
Helpful - went from the brink of a breakup to sympatico!
Helpful - went from the brink of a breakup to sympatico!Read Less
Figs' sessions and course were the things that turned the boat around for our marriage, which was pretty close to ending. My husband and I began going to couples therapy with Figs for a few sessio...Read More
Figs' sessions and course were the things that turned the boat around for our marriage, which was pretty close to ending. My husband and I began going to couples therapy with Figs for a few sessions, then went through the online course, and are now continuing with therapy more well-equipped. The courses gave us a strong and positive framework for how to think about our conflicts as a system of inputs and outputs rather than any one person's fault. I really like that the course emphasizes that there's nothing wrong with your partner for being or doing the things that they do, and to stay away from pathologizing the other or trying to base a decision to divorce on the belief that if they can change partners they'll escape such issues. Figs makes it clear through his sessions and his course that if you don't properly learn to empathize and own your own actions in a relationship, it won't matter if your partner changes, the result will be same conflicts with different partners. His course is made up of about a dozen chapters which are driven by short videos, all very entertaining, comforting, while able to answer the questions and solve the issues that were at least front of my mind. I found myself looking forward to going on to the next video after each one, looking forward to doing the exercises, and eager to ask him questions and do follow up research. Figs provides short homework assignments that are very targeted and interesting while being relevant to the skill building. He also provides additional links to resources at the end of each short chapter for people who want to learn more. I would highly recommend the course, and of course, the one on one therapy if you can do that after.Read Less
Most couples arrive in my office for the first time scared out of their wits. They're SURE the worst of their fears are about to come true: some know-it-all is gonna wag a finger in their face and say it's all their fault and everything is hopeless. OUCH! 90-minutes later they're skipping out of my office with the weight of the world seemingly lifted off their shoulders.
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"Truthfully, The Conflict Solution course was such a game changer for me and how I view my relationship! Your method, delivery, honesty, and enlightenment resonated with me. I dragged my feet when it came to normal couples counseling in the past, but your course kept me engaged enough for self reflection as my walls came down and the ‘Pat' inside me yearned for more connection." —Trisha S.Sign Up Today
I was born, bred and emboldened in Dublin, Ireland and immigrated to the San Francisco area in 1994. One could say I am the typical psychotherapist cliché in so far as I was drawn to psychotherapy to better open to, move through, and heal my own emotional pain and suffering. I was the last of my immediate family to answer the call to become a guide for people to heal emotionally and spiritually. My father is an experiential therapist in Ireland, my mother a social worker/probation officer, and my sister is also a psychotherapist in the Bay Area. For me, being a psychotherapist is a vocation that demands deep commitment to authenticity, compassion, empathy, vulnerability, honest self-reflection, and humility.
"Figs saved our relationship. He's the best couples counselor in the business. His psychotherapy strategy is so damn simple that it feels silly, obvious, or trite. But wait for it. Because it's the most developed, deeply touching philosophy I've ever experienced."
"Figs helped me heal some core wounds. I am now having a very authentic, healthy relationship with a new man in my life and I'm certain the work I did with Figs helped me achieve this. He is truly gifted and doing exactly what he's been put on this earth to do."
"Our relationship has blossomed, our home is a safer, more peaceful, supporting and loving environment. Our most painful relationship issues seem to have evaporated, and the road ahead looks better than ever thanks to Figs!"